God's Timing

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." 

When I reflect on the recent happenings of my life, I can't help but give all the glory to Him.  On March 28, 2011, when I found out God had given us this precious gift for me to bare a child, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions...one being, pure shock.  I thought over and over again...is this REALLY happening to me?

Tim and I have only been married for just under 3 years. It wasn't until several months ago we started talking, more seriously, about starting a family. However, it was clear to me that we were not going to have an easy time getting pregnant.  We were planning for a long road of trying and marking calendars and doctor's visits.  Tim also told me he was open to the idea of adopting.

Friends and family members were getting preggo and having babies and more babies.  It was so beautiful to see the people I love get such an amazing gift.  It got Tim and me excited.  When our one and only nephew, Simms, was born in September, we couldn't hide the joy we had for this little boy.  And, it was then that the seed (idea that is) was planted in our hearts and minds.

We were having fun with the idea of starting the next stage in our lives. Plus, Tim just graduated from PT school and started his new job at Baptist...so we started early hoping that would help us when we came to the point where trying on our own wasn't working.  I did all the right things, marking the calendar, taking prenatal vitamins, etc.Well, three months later, this lil' gift came to us.  I can not explain the feeling when I looked down at the digital test and it said, Pregnant! I was overwhelmed with joy. Then questions of, "Is this for real?" "How did this happen to me?" came to my mind. 

We always think God's time is never soon enough.  When things don't go our way, we always question God and his motives.  The thing is, God's timing happens when it's meant to happen...sometimes sooner than we plan.  But that's the pure beauty of it. It's His plans for our lives, not our own. The God of perfection, peace, and love has allowed us this amazingly beautiful gift...one that's unexplained.  I take it humbly.  It has changed my relationship with Him. I have this beautiful bond with Him and want nothing more than give Him all the glory.  At times, I question, why did this happen to me when there are so many amazing women who can't? Who suffer each day with the lack of hope that it will happen for them.  Then I go back to what made me believe.  My Lord, Jesus Christ, who died for me and my sins so that I might live for Him has my heart.  He knows what I desire and His timing is perfect.  It's up to God who chooses if and when a woman can bare a child. Our plans are not as perfect as His, so we need to let Him continue to do His work and honor Him when He blesses us and when those blessing don't come.  I choose to cling to the cross.